This book has been edited since I originally reviewed it. Since future readers will be reading the newly edited version, it seems only fair that I revise this review to be based on that new version.
First of all, let me say something about the story. I definitely found some good stuff there. And now that the editing is improved, I'm not afraid to recommend this book to some people. The author had a unique take on vampires and witches, and there was an original conflict in the romance around which the book centered.
I originally made it 64% of the way through this book. I stopped reading because the editing needed a lot of work, to the point that I was unable to enjoy the book. Additionally, I felt that the book included a lot of telling. It appears that the newly edited version has significantly improved editing. Still, there is too much telling involved for me to get into the story--telling what the characters are thinking or feeling instead of showing with their actions and their words.
For example, an unreasonably large number of the dialog lines were followed by something like "so-and-so said, WANTING to express that she blah-blah-blah" or "NOT WANTING such-and-such." I began to expect that "wanting" or "not wanting" line every time someone spoke, and I wish the author could have found a way to express characters' desires without flat-out telling these feelings. It created a sort of sing-songy repetition of sentence structure, while at the same time expressing details that would be better expressed with more dialog, action, or character body language. With all the telling in this book, it was difficult for me to get lost in the story.
There was also quite a bit of head-hopping. Whenever more than one of the main four characters was a single scene, the point-of-view jumped from character to character without warning. It was jarring, unfocused, and a little messy.
I've increased my rating from one star to two stars for the improved editing.